Inclusion
Let’s Meet in the Ethers
The family I grew up in was large by today’s standards — and, apparently, unusual. I have six siblings — five living. My parents were partners with one another, discussed all parental matters behind closed doors and presented a united front with authority — and compassion. Youthful attempts to divide and conquer to get our way as children was not easy an easy feat — and, rarely successful.
From my fifth-in-line viewpoint, there were moments older siblings were singled out with overrated appreciation and younger siblings were undeservedly cherished. Yet, it was obvious — even in my indignations of unfairness — we were all loved, considered and allowed our individualism within the family unit and beyond. My parents were my first educators in what leadership of a diverse humanity looks and feels like.
As an adult, I entered the workforce with those family values of individual equality within a group, along with the skill of negotiating compromise and the many, many tools of leadership and teamwork one gathers through the entrepreneurial upbringing of three family businesses. It wasn’t long before I was enjoying successful teamwork through leadership in the corporate world.
True to the understanding of my own family, I gave the individuals in my teams the tools and education to do their work. More important, I taught each of them to dig deep within themselves to know why — beyond the company and job — they were sitting in their chairs every day. Although the reasons were diverse, the individual self-motivation gathered into group momentum resulting in extraordinary team success.
In contrast, another education was unfolding in my personal life. Marrying a man from a highly prejudice family, it wasn’t until our oldest of three children was making friends in school that I realized he was truly serious in his negative and prejudicial comments of others. It was incomprehensible to the love and laughter I enjoyed within this family unit that this thread of severe unkindness was anything real. I was “too kind,” he said. He was “too mean,” I thought. The chasm grew until we broke.
A few years ago, a Producer was courting me in early talks of producing one of my screenplays and a teleplay I had written. He presented much enthusiasm, ensured me I was now part of his ‘family’, pulled me in close to the process and, somewhere in those conversations, he quickly threw in, “You write white,” and moved on to the next topic. Wait. What?
While I thought the Producer’s comment was absurd, it has tucked itself into my brain. As in-your-face inconsideration, meanness and exclusion bullied its way into Main Street USA and other local destinations throughout the world, the ‘still there’ comment pulsed like a beacon of subtle sensation. My Parents NEVER mentioned race, color or ‘other’ orientation. The most opinionated thing I remember hearing my Mother say is, “Well, there’s just no accounting for other people’s taste.” She would shrug her shoulders and move on.
Knowing what true leadership is and having experienced its successful outcomes in large family and even larger corporate teamwork, it tears at my heart to witness the words and actions of divisiveness, self-serving manipulations and extreme uninclusion playing out in our corner of this pandemic. These energies in thought, word and action undermine systemic wholeness, teamwork and cohesiveness necessary to strengthen our collective mind and body. While, “this too shall pass,” wriggles its way through my brainwaves and leaves a centering refresh in its wake, the essence of inclusion persists.
Covid-19. Is this the Great Plan for an inclusive world? Really? Like it or not, from Princes to the Poor, we’re all included.
The leadership I’ve experienced from birth, and taught others since adulthood, isn’t at the helm in our social experience. Unlike the strength of unity that kept seven children from dividing two united adults — and the united front of unlikely matched corporate team members to surmount all odds — much of the leadership today is easily swayed. Rather than uniting the whole into one fortified force that stops undermining appeals, we witness leaders moving from one enticement to the next — dividing its own self with cyclical indecision and separating motivations — all depending upon who is whispering loudest in the background.
Voices in the background — this brings me back to where I’ve gone with that nudging thought to change the perception that I write ‘white’. I’m Caucasian. It’s what I know. In the writing world, the most basic instruction is: Write what you know. I don’t write racially. I don’t know what that is.
I didn’t know what that is.
I know what it is, now.
In this in-your-face bullying world of surfaced uninclusion, we have a front row seat to educating ourselves in ‘other’ like never before. Earth is a diverse home and we’re all included in her family. Listening to the anger spew among my collective siblings and hearing the responding pleas for greater understanding — these have given us all a moment to look deeper — to expand our versions of inclusion and family — to lead the way to greater social well-being — individually and together.
For me, my screenwriting has indeed changed. I wasn’t consciously writing white. I was consciously writing without color. Choosing generic or very unusual names, staying to specific actions rather than telling an Actor how to walk, stand or talk, I took the Reader outside their version of what was ‘relatable’ in a diverse world. A work in progress, I’m learning to write more inclusively.
Inclusion makes us stronger. Yet, in our pandemic moment, we can’t gather together, hold hands and teach the world to sing for inspirational healing. We can, however, gather our energies of good will and believe in being well — which are within — and, connected with the Greater Good.
Let’s Play — Inclusively!
